That is not a call to action. Though I suppose it could be, as I likely wouldn’t throw you out of bed.

My friends over at Toy with Me, a delightfully sassy sex blog, asked me to come up with a menu idea for Valentine’s Day seduction. As I’m not one to say no to such an opportunity, I suggested a menu from our Gilded Fork: Entertaining at Home cookbook along with some thoughts on the why behind the sexy (read: more rants on aphrodisiacs).

Since my mission encompasses doing my part to ensure the people of Earth enjoy better food and better sex, I’m delighted to be part of their efforts toward improving the better sex portion of the equation.

Read here: Food Porn – The Ultimate Foreplay

Here we go. It’s almost Valentine’s Day, so expect to see no less than 20 articles on the topic of aphrodisiacs and how they can improve your love life. Per the usual, I call B.S.

Yes, there are ways in which food chemically affects our senses, and these facts have been scientifically proven in a number of studies. Hot peppers do make our blood run faster, men and women are aroused by certain smells, etc. However — and this is the very premise of my work — the mind is what drives the senses at their roots. If you aren’t sexy between the ears first, by knowing yourself, your mind, your body and its reactions, the food can only do so much. If you are a sensually-repressed individual, a bite of avocado is not going to suddenly transform you into Casanova. Sorry to disappoint.

The New York Times has an article today on the subject, and my favorite quote was from none other than Dr. Ruth: “The most important sex organ lies between the ears.”

Instead of trying to achieve nirvana via the fig, how about via your soul? What awakens it? What is your approach to life? Your philosophy?

If you pull those things into alignment, and understand who you are at your core, the food then becomes a delicious accompaniment to life itself, where beauty is more vivid, sex more fulfilling — and the senses the catalyst for a journey of satiety in new forms.

The unencumbered mind and spirit provide the best aphrodisiacs I’ve found to date.

Photo: Kelly Cline

What does your inside voice say when you taste something sublime?

Mine says this.

You’ve seen me talk a lot about Sex on a Plate on Twitter and Facebook, but I think it’s high time we got out of the digital realm of talking food and sensuality to bring the experience to life, so if you’re in NYC for Valentine’s Day, I hope you’ll join us for a very special evening.

WHAT IT IS

We’ll spend the evening exploring the sensual pleasures of food through small plates composed of sultry flavors, textures and colors. We’ll work to envelop each and every one of your senses and push your palate to the limit.

Beer, wine and special cocktails will be available. Our guests will leave with gift bags full of goodies. There’s also a special discount on hotel stays for those that want to continue their evening of pleasure.

While much of the evening will bring you mouth-to-mouth with the unexpected, here’s some of what you can look forward to:

6:30 – 7 PM Passed hors d’oeuvres and signature cocktails

7 – 10 PM Small plates and open bar

Throughout the evening, special guest Yolanda Shoshana, the Luscious Lifestyle Diva, will be sharing some of her delicious expertise. I’ll also be available with some special guests to share more about the connection between food and sensuality.

MENU (Subject to change depending on seasonal ingredients)

Passed hors d’oeuvres:

• Avocado mousse with pickled ginger and orange zest on spicy tortilla crisp
• Truffled oysters
• Cardamom-dusted grilled lamb chop

Small plates:

• Endive with bacon, St. André cheese, hazelnuts, caramelized dried figs and honey vinaigrette
• Saffron Gnocchi with crispy artichokes
• Beef with celery root puree, garlic foam and a spiced port reduction
• Selection of artisan cheeses
• Honey-glazed pear tart with lavender whipped cream

Beer, wine and cocktails – Featuring Hahn SLH Estate Syrah Santa Lucia Highlands 2007

Goodie bags (Value: $40+)

WHO THIS EXPERIENCE IS FOR

Singles, couples and groups of friends who want to explore and delight in the sensual pleasures of food. This event is for everyone, regardless of status or sexual preference, so long as you have an adventurous palate.

DETAILS
February 14, 2010
6:30 – 10:00 PM
Roger Smith Hotel, Penthouse Solarium

EARLY-BIRD TICKET PRICES THROUGH 1/31/10

$100 pp
$90 pp for groups of 2 or more
Ticket price includes goodie bag valued at $40+
Space is limited. 21 and over. ORDER YOUR TICKETS HERE.

Note: Due to the nature of this tasting event, we will unfortunately not be able to accommodate food allergy restrictions. Menu may contain shellfish, nuts or other allergens.

HOTEL SPECIAL

The Roger Smith Hotel is offering a special “Take Monday Off” rate on Valentine’s Day for this event. Please contact Brian Simpson at brian@rogersmith.com or @Bsimi on Twitter to book.

Photos: Kelly Cline

This is about the time of year when I start hearing from male friends both near and far.

“Jennifer, I want to do something special on Valentine’s Day for my wife/girlfriend/latest conquest, but I have no idea what I’m doing in the kitchen. Can you please, please help me?”

Ah, these poor lost souls. I have taught cooking lessons by e-mail, tutored in the art of sensory seduction via Skype, and generally tried to make the world a more sensual place; but I realize that even the fastest learners have limitations.

So this year, instead of wringing my hands as I watch said students whip themselves into a frenzy along with the fresh cream, I’ve decided to give them — and you — an out. You see, there are specialists in the realm of Valentine’s Day, and they are called chefs and restaurateurs. However, rather than encouraging you to fight for reservations and pay an exorbitant amount for a meal in a cramped dining room, I shall still encourage you to dine in — only this time we’re going to focus on ambience and leave the meal to the experts. (read more)

Note: This article is from my Sunday Magazine feature for the Hudson Valley’s Times Herald-Record. You can also see notes on the menu, decor, wine and presentation, and my Honeyed Chai Tea recipe (also available here).

Photo: Times Herald-Record/Tom Bushey

gilded fork, Valentine’s Day, restaurant, seduction

Such activities do not always begin in the bedroom; in fact, they often begin at the table. But I’m letting you non-cooks off easy this season, as it’s time to let someone else do the cooking while you set the scene.

Featured Recipe: Honeyed Chai Tea

I’ll also share some interesting news from Les Halles restaurant in NYC, which is recycling its used cooking oil into a source for biodiesel fuel.

Music: Beau Hall (www.beaurocks.com)

Food Philosophy is a production of The Gilded Fork (www.gildedfork.com).

www.culinarypodcastnetwork.com