During one of my trips to Halifax, Nova Scotia (one of my favorite places on the planet), I savored a late breakfast in one of those quintessential used book stores with tasty scones and perfectly brewed tea. The store was literally stuffed with books, some dating back to the early 20th Century.

As I perused one of the stacks, a title screamed at me from its humble placement: The Sensuous Woman

Written by “J” in 1969, the back cover had the following review from Playboy:

The author of this book is not especially pretty.

Before “J” became “The Sensuous Woman” she went through life unnoticed.

It’s very different now. “J” is called “ravishingly sexy” by some of the world’s most exciting males. They describe her as “all woman, maddeningly exciting, a modern Aphrodite, a perfect bed-made and life-mate.”

Now “J” reveals her secret, step-by-step program that allows every woman to free her body, train her senses, and realize her tremendous feminine capacity for giving and receiving pleasure.

“J” is unmistakably female; no man could possibly be so exquisitely knowing about how a woman can make the most of what she’s got.

Have you ever wondered what it was like to stumble upon a parallel universe? That moment was something like it, I think.

After perusing the book’s contents, which expounded on the delights of masturbation, training the senses, sexual exploration and the like, I tried to imagine how this must have gone over in the late 60s. It was a #1 bestseller, so clearly women were aching for some kind of knowledge to break the monotony of sex-for-procreation and craft a more pleasurable life for themselves. The fact that “J” took on such a daring topic gave me a thrill I rarely experience. Oh yes, this book was coming home with me.

As a product of the late 70s, it is a bit foreign to imagine what it would be like to consider marriage solely for procreation and sex as a necessary chore. Happily, Garrity focuses on the importance of bringing pleasure to the self, and why it’s important for a woman to feel that on the inside in order to reflect it on the outside. The back cover copy may seem to be an effort at sensationalism, but its words are truthful: When you radiate sensuality, those extra 5 lbs. really don’t make a difference. If they do, that partner isn’t going to be very good in bed anyway, as the focus is not on the pleasure, but on the formula. Yawn.

It’s as if “J” is inside my head, explaining how we must awaken our senses to ignite higher levels of bodily pleasure. She gets it. She got it. I love her.

Incidentally, “J” now appears comfortable going by her full name, Joan Garrity, which appears in the updated version from 1982. I need to get my hands on that copy, too, so I can compare notes.

You might be wondering if I’m going to make any food references in this post. Why yes, in fact, I am. The Sensuous Woman has a section on awakening the senses, and it’s serendipitous that I read it last night, as her process is very close to what I envisioned when designing my new workshop Awakening the Mental Mouth™.  In fact, Chef Mark and I are crafting a two-parter out of the idea: In the first workshop, I will take you through a series of exercises and explorations to awaken your palate, hone your senses and help you learn more about your taste preferences. In the second workshop, Cooking with the Senses, he will show you how to take those flavors and create customized goodies for yourself, from marinades to spice rubs and sauces.

So while my exercises are focused on the sensuality of food, and Garrity’s on the sexuality of the body, they both have the same root: In order to experience the highest levels of pleasure, we must first awaken the pleasure receptors. By focusing on — and exploring — the self.

Want to come and play?

I’m seeing lots of discussions lately about the connections between food and sex, and I’m not sure if it’s simply because I’m more focused on the subject than ever before, or because others are thinking about it a lot, too. Perhaps both. The question that has my attention right now is whether or not food has started to replace sex as a means of evoking and pleasing the senses.

Pardon me while I pull myself back together.

The author of the article, my new pal AV Flox, suggested that perhaps foodie culture is a result of sexual dissatisfaction. Thankfully she insists on bringing the magic back to sex, which is one of the reasons I like her very, very much. I also think she’s on to something.

If you’ve read any of my posts over the last 5 years (and hey, I hope you’ve read one or two), then you know that I see food and sex as companions happily intertwined on the journey of the senses. In complementary fashion, they appeal to our deepest pleasure points, arousing, sustaining and nourishing the most important parts of ourselves. Sadly, given the generally prudish nature of American culture, and an overstressed population that tends to operate in a state of blithe self-oblivion, the roots of sensuality and sexual pleasure have been relegated to too many secret conversations, private thoughts and therapy sessions. Instead, we watch reality TV and wonder why we feel dissatisfied.

Gael Greene thinks lust has headed completely toward the kitchen — and if she’s right, this is good news, at least in my opinion.

When I see a person who enjoys fondling vegetables while shopping, or who can appreciate the subtleties of flavor components, I know there is potential (if expertise has not already been achieved) in the bedroom. Sensual pleasure in all its forms is rooted in our philosophy — in our outlook on life itself. In the anthology Food & Philosophy: Eat, Think & Be Merry I contributed an essay called Food and Sensuality: A Perfect Pairing comparing bad cooking shows to cheap porn. Momentary thrill, not much left afterward. There is a deeper meaning to all of it, and greater heights to be reached when we can clear our minds of clutter, quick thrills and petty, everyday concerns to get to the good stuff. There is so much good stuff.

There are many blog posts to come on this subject, but I’m thinking aloud with you as I go, and would love your input. Has food replaced sex for you, or enhanced it? Has playing with food awakened something in you sensually?

Photo: Kelly Cline