It’s been a rough day. I’ve spent months working with my team on the Sex on a Plate event concept, trying to bring it to life in a way that was compelling, satiating, and generally a blast. All the pieces seemed to fit together nicely, so I decided to try my hand in NYC first. It’s my backyard, I have dear friends at the Roger Smith Hotel, and it seemed feasible to pull this off as a launch to my series of Sex on a Plate events. Ambitiously (perhaps overly so), I thought we could offer a compelling alternative on one of the most Hallmark romantic holidays of them all.

I was mistaken. Even with a crackerjack team, a talented chef and a price of $85 for 7+ exquisite courses with wines and tequila, we couldn’t sell enough tickets, so today we had to cancel the Valentine’s Day event. Interestingly, there are, at this moment, other cities wanting Sex on a Plate, ready to put the pieces in motion.

So what went wrong in NYC? Well, I think it might have been a perfect convergence of not enough lead time to market between Christmas and Valentine’s Day, a non-existent advertising budget, not enough outreach, and too much else going on here that day. A perfect storm of fail.

I’ll consider it my tuition. The next one will be planned much more carefully, with more lead time and a lot more momentum. If you build it, they will come — but only if you build it well.

And so we will begin again. I know the concept is a worthy one, as enough of you have said so — sometimes very loudly! — that I believe you. And you believe in what I’m doing here, which is more important — and why I refuse to let this idea fizzle away. Instead it will be refined, re-mixed and relaunched.

Thank you for being a part of my rollercoaster ride. You make it worthwhile. Stay tuned.

Sex on a Plate has unfortunately been cancelled. Please check back for updates on events in other cities. Details coming ASAP. Thank you!

Photo: Kelly Cline

What does your inside voice say when you taste something sublime?

Mine says this.

You’ve seen me talk a lot about Sex on a Plate on Twitter and Facebook, but I think it’s high time we got out of the digital realm of talking food and sensuality to bring the experience to life, so if you’re in NYC for Valentine’s Day, I hope you’ll join us for a very special evening.

WHAT IT IS

We’ll spend the evening exploring the sensual pleasures of food through small plates composed of sultry flavors, textures and colors. We’ll work to envelop each and every one of your senses and push your palate to the limit.

Beer, wine and special cocktails will be available. Our guests will leave with gift bags full of goodies. There’s also a special discount on hotel stays for those that want to continue their evening of pleasure.

While much of the evening will bring you mouth-to-mouth with the unexpected, here’s some of what you can look forward to:

6:30 – 7 PM Passed hors d’oeuvres and signature cocktails

7 – 10 PM Small plates and open bar

Throughout the evening, special guest Yolanda Shoshana, the Luscious Lifestyle Diva, will be sharing some of her delicious expertise. I’ll also be available with some special guests to share more about the connection between food and sensuality.

MENU (Subject to change depending on seasonal ingredients)

Passed hors d’oeuvres:

• Avocado mousse with pickled ginger and orange zest on spicy tortilla crisp
• Truffled oysters
• Cardamom-dusted grilled lamb chop

Small plates:

• Endive with bacon, St. André cheese, hazelnuts, caramelized dried figs and honey vinaigrette
• Saffron Gnocchi with crispy artichokes
• Beef with celery root puree, garlic foam and a spiced port reduction
• Selection of artisan cheeses
• Honey-glazed pear tart with lavender whipped cream

Beer, wine and cocktails – Featuring Hahn SLH Estate Syrah Santa Lucia Highlands 2007

Goodie bags (Value: $40+)

WHO THIS EXPERIENCE IS FOR

Singles, couples and groups of friends who want to explore and delight in the sensual pleasures of food. This event is for everyone, regardless of status or sexual preference, so long as you have an adventurous palate.

DETAILS
February 14, 2010
6:30 – 10:00 PM
Roger Smith Hotel, Penthouse Solarium

EARLY-BIRD TICKET PRICES THROUGH 1/31/10

$100 pp
$90 pp for groups of 2 or more
Ticket price includes goodie bag valued at $40+
Space is limited. 21 and over. ORDER YOUR TICKETS HERE.

Note: Due to the nature of this tasting event, we will unfortunately not be able to accommodate food allergy restrictions. Menu may contain shellfish, nuts or other allergens.

HOTEL SPECIAL

The Roger Smith Hotel is offering a special “Take Monday Off” rate on Valentine’s Day for this event. Please contact Brian Simpson at brian@rogersmith.com or @Bsimi on Twitter to book.

Photos: Kelly Cline

Not the obvious one. Even the illegal immigrants from Jupiter have read, seen or heard about Twilight.

There have been volumes written about the mystique of Edward Cullen — why he makes women crazy in ways that perhaps no male, real or fictional, has done save for the blinding presence of Elvis Presley.

What woman wouldn’t swoon at the thought of an old-fashioned romantic with good manners and diction? Or wouldn’t want to be adored so fervently that her boyfriend watches her sleep because she fascinates him? Men roll their eyes when women gush about “my Edward.”

(Yes, we call him that.)

On the other side of the cemetery fence, there has been much psychologizing about the potential societal damage of idealizing an obsessed, over-protective, control freak of a boyfriend, and how that might skew the minds of young females in the wrong direction. There is merit in this argument, because when you look at it objectively, Edward and Bella’s relationship is a little bit creepy. 

But let’s put that aside to get to the root of something very important, shall we?

Given my metier, I see Edward Cullen in a slightly different light, so to me, the secret of his appeal is quite simple, really:

Bella is edible to him — and he never lets her forget it.

I have advised many a female friend to smell delicious — so much so that a man cannot keep from nibbling on her neck. And given the neck’s prominence as one of the most sensitive erogenous zones in the body, there is no wonder that vampires have such sensual appeal. But Edward takes it to a whole new level.

 In Bella’s case, her scent is that perfect combination of pheromones and whatever else it is that attracts him helplessly to her. She is, quite literally, Edward’s sex on a plate.

But it is in the way he titillates them both with that knowledge, and keeps the meal itself just out of reach for both of them, that drives her (and me) mental with desire.

Edward’s moments of pure sensual indulgence leave me in a state of heady, wanton lust. As a vampire his senses are exponentially more potent, so I can only imagine what it must feel like for him to run his lips along the edge of her jaw, breathing in her bouquet as he gently caresses her neck and collarbones. He compares it to appreciating the aromatics of a fine wine.

I know it must be good for her, because the very notion leaves me breathless. But why is it so heady?

Because there is danger just on the other side of it. At any moment he could completely lose control and have her for lunch.

He drives them both just to the edge, then backs off, heightening the tension just a bit more each time. This is what any good lovemaking session — and any good meal — strives to achieve. Then the climax is, well, you’ll have to read the books.

My point is that Edward’s deliciousness, at least in my eyes, is his ability to savor the pleasures of his senses, and to tease them in ways that make life with his beloved a delicious test of will. He figuratively, literally and in all other possible ways, wants to devour her. Believe me when I tell you that every woman wants that.

In the case of Edward it is a dangerous game, yes, but oh, the pleasure…

Twas the night before Christmas, and Jennifer freaked out.
In the middle of cooking, her power went out.
With dozens of guests already en route,
Her feckless attempt at a meal was moot.

She went through her iPhone, Twitter and spam,
Surely someone could spare a ham.
But who would be cooking? That was the key.
With a gasp she knew, and called C.C.

“Code Blue in the kitchen!” she frantically said.
“If I don’t come up with a meal, I’m dead!”
“Don’t worry,” said C.C. “I’ve got a good vibe,
Let me call Brogan and rally the tribe.”

Together they tweeted, and asked and plead,
For able cooks to come load up the sled.
Julien arrived with tiramisu,
And Chris Penn added a bottle or two.

From near and far, the dishes arrived,
From soup to mashed potatoes with chives.
“We’d better get going,” said C.C. with haste,
“The sled’s almost full, and we’ve no time to waste.”

“What about Jen in L.A.?” said Chris,
“If we don’t stop by her house, she’ll be pissed.”
Quickly they fled to the leftward coast.
They had to hurry — this was cutting it close.

“Thank heaven you’re here!” said the bubbly Miss Jen.
“I heard the alert, and prepared a hen.
And Kelly Cline dropped by — call it fate,
But here’s a whole platter of sex on a plate.”

Meanwhile, back home, Jennifer knew
She needed a space to welcome her crew.
She called dear Brian at the Roger Smith,
“Do you guys have room, or is that just a myth?”

Thankfully, Chef Mark called ahead,
So he and Chaz set up for the spread.
Madeline arrived with cocktails in hand,
And Susan showed up with a five-piece band.

With panic, Jennifer eyed the clock.
Where were the boys — and what was in stock?
She ran to the roof to wait for them there,
Hoping there’d be enough food to share.

Like a beacon of hope the sled appeared
With C.C. and Chris — and a few reindeer.
“I told you we’d make it!” said C.C. with glee.
“You have to believe in friendship, you see.”

“Never doubt a crowd,” said Chris,
“Who believes in eating as well as this.
“There’s turkey and bread, and roast beef too,
But I did take a bite of the tiramisu.”

With a laugh, she gave them both a squeeze.
“Let’s get this inside before we freeze.”
As far as her eye could see, there were treats
To bring to life her Christmas feast.

As Chef Mark and crew laid out the spread,
Jennifer cleared the thoughts in her head.
She knew it was time for a special toast,
To celebrate friends who mattered the most.

She knew Chris and C.C. had to run,
To join their own families for holiday fun.
So when each guest had taken a seat,
She clinked her glass and rose to her feet:

“To my friends,” she began with a raise of her glass,
“Without whom I’d be out on my ass,
I thank you for showing me all through this year
That friendships like yours make life more dear.

Through struggles and triumphs I never forgot
That help was right there when my gusto was shot.
My comrades in arms, this toast is true,
From a heart so filled with love, thank you!”

I’m seeing lots of discussions lately about the connections between food and sex, and I’m not sure if it’s simply because I’m more focused on the subject than ever before, or because others are thinking about it a lot, too. Perhaps both. The question that has my attention right now is whether or not food has started to replace sex as a means of evoking and pleasing the senses.

Pardon me while I pull myself back together.

The author of the article, my new pal AV Flox, suggested that perhaps foodie culture is a result of sexual dissatisfaction. Thankfully she insists on bringing the magic back to sex, which is one of the reasons I like her very, very much. I also think she’s on to something.

If you’ve read any of my posts over the last 5 years (and hey, I hope you’ve read one or two), then you know that I see food and sex as companions happily intertwined on the journey of the senses. In complementary fashion, they appeal to our deepest pleasure points, arousing, sustaining and nourishing the most important parts of ourselves. Sadly, given the generally prudish nature of American culture, and an overstressed population that tends to operate in a state of blithe self-oblivion, the roots of sensuality and sexual pleasure have been relegated to too many secret conversations, private thoughts and therapy sessions. Instead, we watch reality TV and wonder why we feel dissatisfied.

Gael Greene thinks lust has headed completely toward the kitchen — and if she’s right, this is good news, at least in my opinion.

When I see a person who enjoys fondling vegetables while shopping, or who can appreciate the subtleties of flavor components, I know there is potential (if expertise has not already been achieved) in the bedroom. Sensual pleasure in all its forms is rooted in our philosophy — in our outlook on life itself. In the anthology Food & Philosophy: Eat, Think & Be Merry I contributed an essay called Food and Sensuality: A Perfect Pairing comparing bad cooking shows to cheap porn. Momentary thrill, not much left afterward. There is a deeper meaning to all of it, and greater heights to be reached when we can clear our minds of clutter, quick thrills and petty, everyday concerns to get to the good stuff. There is so much good stuff.

There are many blog posts to come on this subject, but I’m thinking aloud with you as I go, and would love your input. Has food replaced sex for you, or enhanced it? Has playing with food awakened something in you sensually?

Photo: Kelly Cline

It’s been an intriguing few weeks.

At BlogWorldExpo in Las Vegas, I found myself being introduced in the following manner: I’d like you to meet Jennifer. She does “Sex on a Plate.” To my pleasant surprise, many people already knew about it — or wanted to. Marsha Collier and I talked about it on her radio show for KTRB in San Francisco, and 4 million more people were let in on the secret. I loved that.

I then spent a few days with Kelly Cline, the early inspiration for turning my blog into something more. I am drawn to her food photography like a bee to honey, as she is the only person on earth who can see inside my mind and bring my thoughts to visual, four-color reality. We’ve had a magnificent five years of collaboration, and I’m coming away from my time with her newly inspired. It also turns out she takes more than good food photos…but more on that another time.

Kelly and I breathe a tandem rhythm of sensual stimulation, but we don’t want to be the only two in on the melody — and it looks like many of you feel the same way.

On Facebook, in e-mail and at events, people are asking me what it all means. So what kind of food should I eat? What dish gets you really hot? But that, my friends, is the result, not the cause. Let me explain a bit.

On Food Philosophy #87 I talked about experiencing Zumanity, the Sensual Side of Cirque du Soleil. I’m eternally grateful to Jess Berlin for offering me a ticket, because seeing the show brought all my recent thoughts together in a flash of inspiration. Zumanity artfully and powerfully evokes the sensual desires in our minds — even the ones we hide in the light of day — and strikes a chord so deep it’s impossible to leave the theater without an overwhelming need to satiate them. Whether we shiver at the sight of light blue silk rippling in the breeze, or feel a rush of desire at the crack of a whip, something in that show triggers our senses until the hunger in the room is palpable. Every body shape, every sexual preference — every fantasy — is captured on stage, drenched in perfect lighting and pulsating rhythms.

I found myself in such a heightened state of sensory indulgence, I actually purred. Out loud.

After walking out of the theater I realized that if the world could step inside my head in that moment, they would get the idea of Sex on a Plate at its core. It’s not the food, you see, though that is a magnificent component of the satiety; it is what I’ve awakened inside that enables me to feel that kind of passionate arousal in such a moment, and see the world exploding with color and texture all around me. Imagine feeling like that on a regular basis. Oh yes.

The good news is that I’m not an anomaly — I’ve worked to get my senses to this place, but there are lots of you out there, even if you don’t know it yet. I’ve discovered that some of you took my tips to heart in getting started, and are beginning to see food in a whole different way. That excites me. Some of you have taken the tips into the bedroom. That excites me more.

If you haven’t yet started on the road toward Eden, I’m putting out a personal challenge to you, because it’s no fun here with just a few of us: Do something today to satiate your senses. Take a few extra seconds when you nibble that bite of chocolate, and feel its silkiness as it melts on your tongue. Run a finger down your lover’s spine. Drink in a moment of beauty, whether it’s a perfect flower or an exquisite woman.

Do this and you will soon be rewarded in the Garden, because things are in motion to bring Sex on a Plate to life, off the digitized page and right in front of you. Do you want your senses to be tickled? Titillated?

If the answer is yes — and I hope it is — I’ll need you to prepare.

Top photo: Kelly Cline
Bottom photo: Cirque du Soleil

There’s a whole lot happening in this episode, from my trip to BlogWorld & New Media Expo in Las Vegas to my journey through the Cotswolds in the UK. I’m also continuing my Sex on a Plate adventures, so please do join me for a little stimulating conversation.

Among other things, I was invited to see Zumanity in Las Vegas — the sensual side of Cirque du Soleil. Suffice it to say, the show’s sumptuous, erotic display gave me much inspiration for what is ahead. Today’s show also features interviews with Sally Jarrett from Prince Charles’ Highgrove shop and Chef Shane Kisby from The Priory Inn, both in Tetbury, England.

I’m also sharing a little love for my dear friends C.C. Chapman, Laura Fitton and Jen Kushell, who were all with me for some tasty meals in Las Vegas.

And hey, have you purchased your signed copy of the Gilded Fork cookbook? (shop.gildedfork.com)

Music: Beau Hall (www.beaurocks.com), George Fletcher’s Bourbon Renewal (www.georgefletcher.com)

Food Philosophy is a production of the Culinary Media Network (www.culinarymedianetwork.com)

I love that so many people are getting behind my Sex on a Plate mission! I recently sat down with my good friend C.C. Chapman, who is not only a prolific new media entrepreneur, but is also an avid cook, to talk about the link between food and sensuality. His site Digital Dads (for dads, by dads) addresses all sorts of parenting aspects, and he had some questions about how dads might keep things spicy with the wife.

He proposed an interesting theory that has turned into “C.C.’s law of the 2 Cs,” and I wholeheartedly agree. I think the ladies might, too:

I believe that if every guy could master the art of cunnilingus and cooking then they could win any woman’s heart. Because of this, I wanted to get [Jennifer's] take on the intimate qualities of food that she’s been talking about as part of her Sex on a Plate concept. What follows is a little Q&A and I did with her.

So if you’re a dad, or know a dad, please do spread the gospel — see the full Digital Dads Q&A. Remember the mission: Better food and better sex for everyone! Huzzah!

Since last week’s Sex on a Plate post (and the announcement of my mission to help people have great food and great sex) I’ve had a lot of compelling conversations around the subjects of sensuality, sexuality and food. One of them was with a national woman’s magazine, so let’s hope I make the editor’s cut for that.

In having such conversations, of course, questions have arisen, such as “Where do I start?” and “What do I do?”

I thought I’d put together a couple of tips (OK, five of them) to share my approach to the senses, and how these actions help me to savor life on a very profound level. I recommend you give them a try and see what happens.

1. Quiet your mind. Nothing can interfere more with a moment of enjoyment than a mind that is full of worry, to-dos, schedules, etc. Take a moment to breathe. This has been my greatest challenge, as my brain is constantly buzzing with things I need to take care of, ideas for my businesses, people I need to reach out to, on and on; it’s enough to make a person frazzled. To quiet myself, I’ve committed a minimum of 15 minutes each day to sit quietly, preferably surrounded by trees and flowers, to just be. To take it all in.
2. Pay attention. In that moment of serenity (you can get there — deep breaths, people) take note of the colors, sounds, scents and textures around you. Notice how vivid the colors are in that Iris over there, or how peaceful the sound of the breeze is. Feel the sun on your face.
3. Reach down into that inner place of joy. The ultimate feeling is to revel in one’s very existence — to feel a sense of giddy happiness just to be alive, experiencing this moment. If we can take pleasure in something that simple, imagine the indulgent pleasures that can follow.
4. Engage your mental mouth. This is your inner taster. We all have one. In remembering your favorite food memories, your mental mouth pulls up smells, flavors, feelings from the past, at times when you had a perfect bite, or your grandmother’s apple pie evoked the ultimate feeling of comfort. By exercising this little guy, and by thinking about flavors, you are putting your brain to work on expanding the receptors for these all-important pleasures. I did not develop my palate passively — I taste a lot of things, see how they make me feel, store the ones I like and refer to them for inspiration.
5. Approach your food actively. Remember when you sat outside and paid attention to your surroundings? Apply that to your next meal. What colors, textures and smells are before you? Take a moment to absorb those, and note how they make you feel. Are you inspired to lasciviously dive into that dish of glistening red tomatoes? Does the soft texture of that loaf of bread make you want to play with it in your hands? These are exercises that put the mind to work — to train it to anticipate pleasure, and get you excited for the things you’re about to taste.

Let me know how you do. Or, as I am wont to say, keep playing with your food.

Photo: Lia Soscia

If you happen to follow my Twitter activities, you may have noticed that I’ve begun a regular thing called #sexonaplate. (That little number sign is called a hash tag, and creates a Twitter stream of people’s tweets on a given subject when they add the tag.)

The original “sex on a plate” quote comes from my first manifesto, On Food and Sensuality, written in 2004 when I discovered that the pre-consumption sight and/or smell of certain foods evokes a visceral reaction in me that is so sensually satisfying, the eating is almost an afterthought. Almost.

So now I’m asking what evokes that reaction in you. What makes you swoon? Sigh? Tremble? Drool?

I do have an ulterior motive here, which has become my life’s work: I want you to eat better food and have better sex. They go together, you see.

My second manifesto is in the anthology Food & Philosophy: Eat, Think and Be Merry. My essay Food and Sensuality: A Perfect Pairing takes the premise quite a few steps further, delving into comparisons of cheap porn and bad television cooking shows — and explaining why neither is truly satisfying.

The conclusion of both manifestos, however, remains the same: Life is more satisfying when it is accompanied by sensual indulgence that is felt all the way down into the soul. It makes colors more vivid, tastes more satisfying, and lovemaking more fulfilling. It takes what might have become a daily routine and spices it up in a way that makes one feel more alive simply for being here and witnessing what is present for the senses to enjoy. If you’ve ever bathed in the scent of lavender, I think you know exactly what I mean.

But I cannot embark upon this mission alone. Indulgence is better when shared — and I would love for us to experience it together. How do we do that? Well, for starters, we need to talk about it. The conversation on Twitter is coming along nicely, and that is one spot — but there are others. Talk to me on Facebook. Leave comments here. Sniff basil leaves. Dip a piece of bread in truffle oil and inhale deeply.

Then share the experience — let somebody in on the secret.

Photo: Kelly Cline